When we think of sex, we think of penetration. No shocker, especially since sex, at its most basic level, is just matter of genital-to-genital contact. Doesn’t sound too hot now though, does it? Well, for those can see sex in more creative terms, penetration is not essential. Surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be, considering the dictionary definition of the term, “sex” defines the act as any form of physical intimacy. So depending on your level of open-mindedness, sex without penetration can be pretty smoking. Here’s how to score that sexual touchdown without crossing the lines.

The game-play warm-up

Sex is an art. And as such, it should be treated with care and precision, especially if you’re having sex without penetration. Here, the details matter more because it requires you to carefully focus on the subtlest touches and pressure levels.

If you’re not warmed-up, all hot and bothered, it’s unlikely you’ll see any fireworks from mere physical fondling. This type of sex cannot be rushed. For this reason, you’ll need to evolve your foreplay routine, be it as basic as caressing or licking. As sex expert Alina Palin recommends, “To make it count, take time to learn about your trigger points and feel out what types of contact elicit the most pleasure. Do you like your neck nibbled? How hard? Do you enjoy the sensation of fingers gliding along your thighs and pelvis. For how long?”

Once you know how to cultivate these touches, you can train your body to become extra sensitized and ready to receive pleasure from non-penetrative sex.

External play

Why stay in when you can go out? We’re all brainwashed into thinking the pleasure party is held in our inner regions, but there’s a lot of fun to be had on our outer regions as well!

For women, the main area would be the clitorus. “The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, twice that of the head of the penis,” explains author of ‘Sex Therapist and Sexologist’, Stefani Threadgill. Stimulating this area can offer mounds of pleasure, but what about our less stereotypical areas? Threadgill recommends massaging the labia or areas between the vagina and anus to enhance the sensation.

Anal play

For both men and women, there’s also much pleasure to be had with some good “old-fashioned” anal play.

Alina Palin suggests fondling or grazing this area with your fingers, tongue or a vibrating bullet.  You can also stimulate the nearby contours of your butt to build up tension and sensitivity. After a few minutes, the excitement will start escalating, sending increased blood flow to your “better-half”.

Discover other goodie zones

Goodie zones come in all shapes and sizes. These lesser-known areas may be ones you’ve already heard about, like the infamous foot fetish, or ones that you have yet to discover. In essence, the body is much more sexually complex and versatile than we often think. So when it comes to having sex without penetration, you need to know all your body’s ins and outs– or in this case, just the outs.

Let’s revisit the foot fetish. There are many people who cringe at the idea, imagining their sweaty toes and calloused heels in their partner’s mouth– not appealing, we know. But if you can let go of these prudish stereotypes, the experience can actually be quite powerful. As sex blogger Nina Elias explains, “Certain pressure points in your feet can trigger arousal. Make the most of this hot zone by dripping some massage oil on stressed out tootsies and start pressing on the pads of the feet.”

Other erogenous zones you may be neglecting are your inner wrists, behind your ears, your fingertips and scalp. Spend more time experimenting with these areas to enjoy sex without penetration.

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